INTRODUCTION

 

 

Making an adoption plan for your child takes courage and maturity. You often need to separate your needs from those of your child and put your child's needs first.

Adoption is a loving and legal process in which the birth parents' rights to parent their child are transferred to adoptive parents, who are then given full permanent custody of the child.

If you place your child for adoption, your rights will be legally and permanently terminated. For your own protection, your parental rights can only be terminated after your child is born. Each state has its own laws. To find out how adoption works in your state, contact an adoption agency.

 

If you freely choose adoption because you believe it best for your child, it is called voluntary termination. (There are also involuntary terminations, where birth parents are forced to give up custody of their child because of abuse or neglect.)

You may find some unfamiliar terms in this website. Take time to review them:

BIRTH PARENTS (also birth mother and birth father)- Persons who have made an adoption plan for their child. This word, rather than "natural" or "real" parents, is used. If birth parents are called real parents, it implies that somehow adoptive parents are "unreal" or "unnatural."

ADOPTIVE PARENTS- Persons who adopt a child.

ADOPTED PERSON-Someone who has been legally adopted.

MAKING AN ADOPTION PLAN-This phrase is better than giving away a child, or putting up a child for adoption. People usually give something away when it is no longer valuable. This is not the case when a birth parent makes a loving and legal adoption plan.

OPEN ADOPTION-A plan in which identifying information about birth parents and adoptive families is openly shared, and continued contact after placement takes place.

MEDIATED OPEN ADOPTION-Planned communication, spelled out in a written agreement, takes place between birth and adoptive parents while the child is growing up. The agreement is mediated by someone who understands the range of possibilities and is sensitive to the issues for both sides.

SEMI-OPEN ADOPTION-Birth and adoptive families stay in contact by way of an intermediary as opposed to direct contact; they may or may not have exchanged identifying information

INDEPENDENT ADOPTION-Independent adoptions are often carried out without counseling provided for anyone. The child is simply placed with the adoptive couple.

CLOSED OR TRADITIONAL ADOPTION-The birth parents and adoptive parents do not meet, do not share identifying information, and do not keep in contact.

DESIGNATED, PARENT INITIATED, or PRIVATELY ARRANGED ADOPTION-In these adoptions, usually of infants, adopting parents themselves locate a pregnant woman considering adoption for her child.

UNPLANNED CHILD-This term is preferred over "unwanted child." Most birth parents want their children but are unable to care for them the way they wish.

SOCIAL WORKER-Social workers are trained counselors who can help you explore your options. A good social worker will not pressure you but will let you make your own informed choices.

IDENTIFYING INFORMATION-This type of information, such as full names and addresses, when shared in an adoption, identifies birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptee to one another.

NON-IDENTIFYING INFORMATION-This type of information (limited to first names, physical descriptions, occupation, education, personality characteristics, hobbies, interests, and religious affiliation) does not identify the birth parents, adoptive parents, and adoptee to one another but does let them know something about each another.

TRIAD (THE ADOPTION TRIANGLE)-The triad includes three categories of people directly involved in adoption: the birth parents, the adopted person, and the adoptive parents.

We challenge you as you read through A Loving Choice to consider adoption as seriously as you would consider single parenting or marriage. This booklet will replace myths or misunderstandings you may have about adoption with sound information. Whether you choose to make an adoption plan or to parent your child, you will have the facts you need to decide the best possible plan for you and your child.