What
are my options if I’m pregnant?
It is likely the decision you make about your pregnancy
will have a great impact on your life. It is up to you
to make an informed decision as you consider your
choices. When you find out you are pregnant you have
three options. Your options include parenting the child
yourself or with your partner, abortion, or choosing an
adoptive family for your child. Your counselor will
review each choice with you. We will offer as much
information needed to help you make your decision. Your
counselor will guide you through your different options.
Only you can make this decision for you and your child.
Is it okay to feel detached from my unborn child?
When finding out about an unplanned pregnancy you
will go through a lot of different emotions. You may not
know exactly what to feel or how to express those
feelings. Sometimes you may even convince yourself to
deny the pregnancy completely. This is somewhat normal
when trying to decide what to do about an unplanned
pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help you sort
through your emotions and figure out what to do. You
will be able to go through each feeling and really think
about your emotions and how they are affecting you and
this decision.
What if
I haven’t been to the doctor?
Our primary concern is you and
your health during this process. If you have not been to
the doctor we will help you find one at any point in
your pregnancy. Your counselor will be able to help
locate a doctor and choose a medical plan that is best
for you. If you go into labor before seeing a doctor it
is okay. We will meet you at the hospital and plan an
adoption from that point. When planning an adoption the
agency has procedures in place to allow you to see the
doctor free of cost to you.
Do I have to
tell the birthfather?
Yes,
he must be notified, if you know whom he is. This is not
as frightening as you think. If you would like, your
counselor will handle this for you. We ask that you be
completely honest in telling us who the birthfather is.
Your counselor will explain the different options in
contacting the birthfather.
What if the birthfather wants to be involved in the
adoption process?
We welcome any involvement from the birthfather in
wanting to place his child for adoption. Some
birthfathers realize the importance of giving
information about their social and genetic background
for the child. The birthfather is welcome to come to a
visit with the birthmother or schedule and individual
session.
Do I have to
tell my parents?
Most
unplanned pregnancies come with a sense of anxiety or
even fear. It can be an overwhelming thought of hiding
the pregnancy. In the state of Texas, you are legally
able to make decisions for your child at any age. Your
counselor will help you with all of your medical care
and transportation, and will be there with you. You do
not have to tell your parents. You need only tell the
people you choose. This also applies in Oklahoma,
however anyone under the age of 16 will need one
parent's consent.
What type of adoption is available to me and will my
child be able to contact me someday?
When making a final decision about adoption it is up
to the birthparents to decide if they would like the
child to be able to contact them someday. You have
several choices when choosing what you think is best for
you and your child. You can have little or no contact in
your adoption agreement or full contact including
pictures and letters. If you would like your records to
be kept confidential we will seal your file. If you
would like your child to be able to contact you we will
make note of it in your file and it will remain open.
Your counselor will be able to present several different
options and help you decide what type of contact will be
best for you and your child for up to 18 years after the
date of birth.
Do I pick
the adoptive parents?
If you
like, you may view photo albums and receive information
about families. You can choose and meet your family, or
you can have the agency choose for you and you will have
no contact at all. The choices are yours.
How will I know my baby is with a good family and is
taken care of?
Adoption Agencies have set guidelines and procedures
for prospective adoptive parents to follow before being
able to adopt a child. You will be able to look at photo
albums the adoptive parents have made just for you. They
will hopefully tell you about their life and what is
most important to them. After choosing the family you
have the choice to speak with them over the phone or
even meet them face-to-face.
What will my child be told about his/her birthparents
someday?
In the adoption process you will be able to give the
adoptive parents medical and genetic information about
you. This information can be passed onto the child. We
also offer a “When You Wonder” book to both
birthparents. This book gives the birthfather and
birthmother a chance to tell the child about them. It is
a chance for you to tell your “story” to your child.
This book can be one of the greatest gifts you give your
child. Your counselor will guide you through this
process as you decide what information to share. It will
of course be up to the adoptive parents when this
information is passed on. We advise adoptive parents to
use age appropriate information as the child’s interest
grows in knowing who their birthparents are and where
they came from.
What happens after the baby is born? Will I see the
baby?
At the
hospital, you may have whomever you would like with you.
Your counselor and adoptive parents will be there if you
want them to be. Birthmothers stay from six hours to two
days. The time depends on the health and wishes of the
birthmom. During your stay at the hospital you can see the
baby as much or as little as you want to. You and your
counselor will talk about your hospital stay before
delivery. Each situation is completely different.
Whatever you choose to do will be perfect for you and
the baby.
When
it is time for the baby to be released from the hospital
the baby will go with the adoptive parents. Your
counselor will stay with you if you are not already
released from the hospital at this point. It is around
this same time you will sign your relinquishments to
make the adoption possible for your child. You have 48
hours after the baby is born before signing your
relinquishments. In Oklahoma, you would need to sign
papers allowing your child to be adopted in front of a
court judge at a court hearing after the child is born.
The legal documents are final, and you could not change
your mind at this point. This is legally closed file and
not open to public records.
If I want to make an adoption plan when is my decision
final?
You can call at any point during your pregnancy to make
an adoption plan. Your counselor will work with you to
make the best decision possible for you and your baby.
In Texas you may sign your relinquishment 48 hours after
the birth of the child. In Oklahoma, you will sign your
relinquishment in front of a court judge at a hearing
after the birth of the child. We advice you to take the time you need to
make this final decision. You will receive a sample of
these relinquishments when you first meet with your
counselor.
Do I get
information about my child?
Many birthmoms receive pictures and letters from the
adoptive parents. These are received at the agency, and
we call only you to pick them up or have them mailed.
Again the choices are yours.
Why is counseling
important?
We suggest talking to a counselor or psychologist when
making decisions concerning an unplanned pregnancy. A
counselor will help you to understand and cope with the
wide range of emotions you may be feeling. A counselor
will look out for your best interest and support you as
you make decisions. A lot of times in an unplanned
pregnancy a support system tend to be limited or
non-existent. A counselor will be available at anytime
you need someone to talk to. If you are going through
this pregnancy alone they will be at your side. Your
counselor will be as involved as you want them to be.
You can choose if you want them in delivery and/or at
the hospital with you. A counselor can also provide
information about community resources in your city that
can help you medically and financially.
Most importantly, an agency
provides counseling and support, before, during and
after placement of your child into a home. They should
take care of all medical expenses and travel to the
hospital, doctor, and office. They should explain all of
the adoption process to you, provide you legal services,
and should make sure you have access to them 24 hours a
day. 
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