EXPLORE ALL YOUR OPTIONS
You Have Choices!
"I was in shock when I found out I was pregnant.
After the numbness wore off, I felt overwhelmed. There
were decisions to make about school, college, my job,
where I'd live, money, my boyfriend, and so on. The
biggest decision was what I was going to do with my
baby." -Anne, age 17\
 Today most people assume that if you are pregnant you will
parent your child. Years ago it was assumed that a young person
would make an adoption plan if she became pregnant before
marriage. Both assumptions can ignore what is best for a
particular parent or child.
Remember that you have choices, and having choices to make
is a privilege. At times you may wish that someone else would
make your decisions for you. You don't need to decide right
away. Take your time to examine all your choices. With the help
of a social worker or other adult whom you trust, you will
gradually be able to make a sound decision.
Only You Should Decide
The most difficult decision will involve making a
responsible plan for your child's future. Choosing to make an
adoption plan or choosing to parent will have lifelong
consequences for both of you.
Your decision cannot be made by friends or parents. It
should not be based on what others have done in similar
situations. Your decision should not be determined by what you
see in the movies or on television.
To decide wisely, consider how each choice will affect your
life and your child's life. Explore your feelings and talk about
them with the important people in your life. Then make your
decision based on what you as the birth parent know is best for
your child and for you.
 Making Informed Decisions
Perhaps you're thinking, "I know some young single parents
who are doing a fine job. Why do I need to know about adoption?"
It is important that you know some of the concerns related to
being a single parent or marrying only because you're pregnant.
FACTS ABOUT SINGLE PARENTS:
EDUCATION
-
Only 50 percent of teenage mothers finish high school
-
Only 70 percent of teenage fathers finish high school.
-
90 percent of mothers under the age of sixteen will
never finish high school.
-
Less than 2 percent of women who become mothers before
the age of twenty will complete college
-
Lack of education usually results in an inability to get
adequate jobs.
EMPLOYMENT
- Teenage parents are more likely to have low status jobs,
lower hourly wages or be unemployed
- The younger the mother at childbirth, the lower her
annual family income will be.
POVERTY
-
There is a direct link between poverty and teenage
parenting. Families headed by young mothers are seven times
more likely to be poor.
-
71 percent of AFDC recipients under thirty were
teenagers when their first child was born..
-
Of all families with young children headed by women who
gave birth as teenagers, 67 percent live below the
officially designated poverty level.
-
A study found that only one in ten children in
two-parent families were poor while two out of three
children living in single-parent homes were poor.
FUTURE PREGNANCIES
- Teenage mothers are likely to raise large, unplanned
families alone. 60 percent of teenagers who gave birth
before they were sixteen will be pregnant again before the
age of eighteen.
CONCERNS ABOUT CHILDREN OF SINGLE PARENTS:
- Children of single parents are likely to have lower I.Q.
scores and are more likely to repeat school grades than
children raised in two-parent families.
- Children from single-parent homes have more physical and
psychological problems than children raised in two parent
homes.
- When children of teenage parents grow up, they are more
likely to become teenage parents themselves, receive
welfare, or become divorced.
CONCERNS ABOUT TEENAGE MARRIAGE:
-
Marriages that result from an unplanned pregnancy often
fail.
-
At least 60 percent of young people who
marry before the age of twenty will be divorced within five
years.
-
When pregnancy is the major reason for marriage, the
failure rate could reach 90 percent within the first six
years of marriage.
-
Even if a husband is working, it is not likely that he
has a well-paying job.
-
Because the young mother will likely drop out of school
to care for her child, she will find herself with no
education or job skills.
-
Marriage will not solve the problem of an unplanned
pregnancy. A good marriage demands hard work and commitment
from each partner. This is often difficult for young people
still working on developing their own identities.
-
If you do not receive support from your family and will
not be able to finish high school because you parent your
child, consider these facts carefully. It may predict your
future life and that of your child.
Summing Up
Since you are pregnant, you must decide. Explore the options
of adoption, single parenting, and marriage. Be sure to make an
informed decision.
Planning for your child's future is one of the biggest
decisions you will ever make in your life. Whatever you
decide to do will have a lifelong effect on both of you.
Do not choose a plan only because it is the choice your
friends or parents want you to make, but do listen openly to
their concerns and advice.
Single parenting and teenage marriage are not as
glamorous or problem-free as television, movies, or music
would have you believe.
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